


The Green M&M

by MemoryDragon



Category: Yami No Matsuei
Genre: Abuse of M&M's, Angst, Gen, Humor, I hate this fic so much, It's awful, Mem has gone off to cry now., So bad, WHY IS IT MY MOST POPULAR ON FF.NET?, it's terrible, no seriously, old anime fic, talking to inanimate objects, terrible horrible no good very bad days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-07
Updated: 2003-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/pseuds/MemoryDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever had one of those days were you just end up nearly crying out of frustration? Well, Hisoka has terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and unloads it all to one of the most unlikely sources...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Green M&M

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Yami no Matsuei belongs to Matsushita Youko. I don't own it and make no claim to.  
>  **Notes:** Let me start off by saying how much I hate, loathe, and despise this fic. I really, really do. And yet, for whatever reason, it has the most reviews I've ever gotten on a single chapter of fic and is... actually the second most popular in favorites now? Wow. I never realized Point in Time got that many more favs. That makes me feel slightly better now, but it doesn't make this fic any less horrible. Re-reading this fic makes me want to cry, it's that bad. Sigh. Anyway, since I'm trying to post the majority of my fics to one place, here is this fic as well. No matter how much I hate it. Hopefully you guys won't hate it as much as I do.
> 
>  **Originally Posted:** Aug. 7, 2003

The day had been a very bad one for Hisoka. 

It started off with his clock accidentally being set an hour later the night before when he was setting the alarm. Consequently, this lead to him being an hour late to work and not even realizing it until he found himself face-to-face with an angry Tatsumi. Hisoka made a mental note to himself to _never_ again give that man a reason to dock his pay. It was one of the scariest aspects of his afterlife. 

Then Hisoka realized that his partner, Tsuzuki, had skipped out of coming to work today all together. That lazy, pathetic excuse for a partner was going to leave all the work for Hisoka to do, probably out searching for some new pastry or sweet. He made another mental note to himself. To kill Tsuzuki -er- make the rest of Tsuzuki’s after life a miserable experience. 

Unfortunately for Hisoka, he forgot about the first mental note and started reading a who dunnit. Which was how Tatsumi found him. The secretary went on another rampage (docking Hisoka’s pay yet again) and confiscated the book just as it was just about to confirm the murder. Twice in one day the money-loving secretary made it known to Hisoka that he was one of the scariest people in the universe to cross. 

He finally got back to work (with no book to read, he was bored quickly), only to find that his pen ran out of ink. After searching for fifteen minutes through the mess called Tsuzuki’s desk, Hisoka only came up with one. Which was chewed. He threw it away in disgust. 

So for the third time that day, Hisoka stood facing the money-hungry secretary. At least this time the man was only slightly disgruntled. After a stern lecture about always coming to the office prepared and being told to think of how much money would be wasted if he didn’t, Tatsumi finally coughed up the permission (and extra key) to the storage room. Oh, and he docked the teenager’s pay yet again after a warning that this wasn’t high school anymore. Such a forgiving overseer. 

Never having been in the storage room before, it took him about fifteen more minutes to find a pen in the mess that was almost as bad as Tsuzuki’s desk. After making sure the one he found worked, he walked back to the door of the little closet only to find out that it automatically locked itself. And there was no way to unlock it from the inside. Wonderful. 

So here he was, locked in this tiny excuse for a storage space, waiting for Tatsumi to find him and possibly completely suspend his paycheck (there couldn’t be that much of it left). As if it couldn’t get any worse. Well, that was the most brilliant thought of the century. As soon as the sentence crossed his mind, _it_ happened. The situation got _way_ worse. 

There was a power outage. 

Here, in this tiny room with no windows, Hisoka was thrown into one of his worst nightmares. He was alone, locked in, and in complete darkness. It was so very hard not to lose it. Being hysterical would not help the situation. 

_Monster! Freak!_

He felt his body begin to tremble and he dropped the pen. It was his own stupid fault. No one locked him in there. It was his own fault. He would _not_ get hysterical. And he would keep his mind blank of all memories... 

_He’s been possessed! He’s not my child! Demon!_

About an hour later, Tatsumi and Watari finally found the youth sobbing silently. Turned out the whole of the summons section had been looking for him. It wasn’t until Tatsumi mentioned the fact that he’d given the kid the extra storage room key to Watari (who had gotten locked in himself once or twice) that they even thought to look here. 

When asked why he didn’t cry out, all he could say was that “they” would get mad and beat him. Tatsumi didn’t even bother asking why Hisoka didn’t just teleport out. It didn’t take a psychologist to realize he was mentally unbalanced at the moment. Work was not the place he should be. 

After they calmed him down, Tatsumi ordered the scientist to make sure that Hisoka got home safely. And for the boy to take one or two days off. The secretary threatened to cut his paycheck again if he saw him at the office before Wednesday. If Hisoka had been in a slightly different frame of mind, he might have noticed the concern in Tatsumi’s cold voice and icy eyes. 

The almost mad scientist walked him back to the teen’s apartment, constantly fussing over Hisoka the whole way. He had to practically push Watari out of the door, saying he was going to take a nap, before he could get any peace and quiet. 

Only to realize his book was still on Tatsumi’s desk and he had forgotten to get groceries. 

He went to the library first. But as soon as he got there, Hisoka remembered his library card was back on his desk in his room. Making a quick trip back to his apartment to pick it up, he was nearly run over by a car when he crossed the street. He returned to the library, only to find the book was already checked out. Finally, he went to the book store and bought it (again). 

The teen went back to the apartment to drop the book off on his desk (so he wouldn’t lose it. He didn’t trust his luck) before going out to get food. This time he had to dodge unwanted fan girls just out of junior high who sighted him. Sometimes, he hated being eternally sixteen. 

At the grocery store, he found himself walking down the candy isle. He usually _hated_ anything sweet, but... Tsuzuki always said they brightened up even the worst of days... Oh, why the hell not? He grabbed a bag of M &Ms and put it in his basket. 

Between an unsatisfied customer and a computer glitch, Hisoka didn’t get out of the store until after sunset. When it was dark. To add to his discomfort, it was a new moon that night. Meaning, even less light then usual. 

He could do this. It would take fifteen more minutes, but he knew a place he could teleport from that was brightly lit with relatively few people. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. He _could_ do this without breaking down. And besides, a new moon meant less of a chance of meeting Muraki, because there was no moon to turn red... 

He stopped that train of thought before he started to shake so hard that he dropped the bag of groceries. Really. He was being pathetic. Hisoka could see perfectly fine in the street lamps. Not every night he was out late would result in... Stop!! Just don’t think. Don’t think and walk faster. 

Okay. He was home. No Muraki. No evil doctor to come and try and kill him again. Nothing had happened on the way home. Not one thing. He felt like an idiot. He really was acting just like a little kid who was still afraid of the dark. No wonder everyone always looked down on him in the office... 

That still didn’t stop him from turning on every light in the apartment. 

Now he could just lie in bed and finish that who dunnit... But when Hisoka made his way to his room to turn on that light, he found out that the universe wasn’t through with him yet. The light bulb in his room went out as soon as he flipped the switch. Not only that, but he’d left his windows covered and the hall light was too far away.... There was another light in the room by his desk, but he’d have to walk through the darkness to get to it... 

He couldn’t even bring up the nerve to find a flashlight. 

Fine. Well, he could still eat dinner at least. But even _that_ went wrong. Even though Hisoka figured himself a pretty decent cook, the meal turned out to be worse than something Tsuzuki had cooked. And he didn’t feel like making another attempt. He’d spent more than one night with an empty stomach. Besides, it’s not like he could die of starvation. 

Fixing up the couch so he could sleep on it, Hisoka remembered the bag of M &Ms he bought earlier. It wouldn’t hurt to try. Hell, the day couldn’t get worse because he ate chocolate. Well, he could have a severe allergic reaction to it, but that was highly doubtful. And maybe it would be enough to stop the grumbling that was coming from his mid-section. 

Opening the package, he let the tiny candy-coated ovals slide across the coffee table. He never realized there were so many different colors.. Shaking his head, he methodically started splitting them all into groups. Browns, blues, reds, oranges, yellows... Wait a sec! There was only one green M&M! And it was chipped too! What did the green M&M ever do to deserve that? Why he was caring so much about one tiny, chipped, green M&M was beyond him... 

This sucked. 

“You know, my life really sucks right now.” he told the lone green M&M seriously as he popped one of the red ones in his mouth. “I mean,” he continued through chews, “today was just bad. Tsuzuki should have been there!” Hisoka sat in silence for a while as he started on the blues. “That’s it! It’s all Tsuzuki’s fault for not being there!” 

“First of all, Tatsumi would have yelled at him, not me. All three times. And he would have known where to look for a pen... Hell, he’d probably have known where to look for _me_ so I wouldn’t have been stuck in that closet for an hour! And he wouldn’t have let me push him out the door like Watari did, and he’d have been there to help me with the groceries!” Time to start on the yellow ones. The more M &Ms he ate, the angrier he became with his partner. “Damn it! All of this humiliation today was his fault! If he been there, I wouldn’t have lost my book! So I wouldn’t have been late coming home and the light would have gone out during the day so I could have fixed it!” 

On to the browns. There were lots of browns. It was a stupid color to have the most of in the package. Why couldn’t there be more green M&Ms than brown ones? “It’s all that idiot’s fault! Because he wasn’t here today! Right?” It dawned on him that he’d been directing his comments to a chipped, green M&M. An inanimate object that couldn’t talk back. He nearly choked an orange. 

Maybe he was cracking. It certainly seemed that way. “Maybe I need a psychologist or something. I mean, I sleep with the light on every night for crying out loud. And that’s not the only way I’m totally screwed up either.” 

The little green one was all that was left. Tears suddenly filled Hisoka’s eyes as memories came, unbidden. “I’m so royally messed up... I can’t understand why everyone wants to help me. I don’t know why Tsuzuki even bothers. I’m just some psycho kid to him. I don’t know how to thank him or help him when he needs it. And I’ll be sixteen for the rest of eternity. I’m sure there are many other people who deserve to have him care about them. So why me?” His voice cracked on the last syllable. 

Quiet sob. “You’re just like me, ya know? One of a kind and defective. I’m sure someone else would have thrown you away. The rest of the M&Ms would be much better off with out us eyesores. No one wants a defective product, right? Like no one wants an empath either.” 

He laid his head down on the small coffee table, tears still flowing freely down his face and his voice cracking occasionally. “You with your chipped off coating and me with my empathy. Were you shunned by the other M&Ms too? Because you weren’t perfect? Because you were different?” 

“Of course you weren’t. M&Ms aren’t alive. They can’t talk and they can’t shun each other. I must be a real idiot to be talking to one...” 

“No, you aren’t.” 

Hisoka’s eyes widened. That M&M _so_ just did _not_ speak. That was impossible. Or he had really lost it. Then he felt a pair of arms encircle him from behind and looked back to see a pair of amethyst eyes and a mop of brown hair. “Tsuzuki? How-” 

“Did I get in? You left the door unlocked, silly.” The older man chuckled and ruffled Hisoka’s hair, much to the teen’s discomfort. “And before you ask, I pretty much heard the whole thing.” 

The boy felt his face heat up. Whether because of his temper or he was blushing, he didn’t care. “Then why the hell didn’t you stop me, you idiot!” He tried pushing the slightly amused shinigami away, but to no avail. So he settled for just glaring. 

The affect of said glare was probably ruined by the fact that he was still crying 

“Because you were opening up much more to the M &M than you ever would have to me.” Tsuzuki gently wiped away his tears and hugged the younger boy again. “You’re not insane, ya know. I’ve caught Tatsumi talking to his pen before. And the boss talks to the walls on a regular basis.” 

This little pep talk was _not_ making Hisoka feel any better. Though the thought of the ever- cold Tatsumi talking to a pen... Wait, he was still supposed to be mad at Tsuzuki! “Why!? Why weren’t you there today?” 

Tsuzuki actually looked startled. “Didn’t I tell you? I always get today off, every year. It’s the anniversary of my... of my sister’s death and I go visit her grave...” 

It was the day his sister died? He actually had a valid reason for not being at the office. He wasn’t just lazing about looking for sweets and getting out of work. He was visiting the grave of someone important to him, and Hisoka had just assumed the worst. 

Taking the boy’s silence as a no, Tsuzuki kept going. “I’m sorry, Hisoka! When Tatsumi asked me to check up on you... well, I thought you knew where I was. And I wasn’t there for you when it counted...” 

All Hisoka could manage was a weak, “I’m fine, you idiot,” before his voice cracked again. Hell, could the day get any worse? At least he’d managed to stop crying. 

“Hey!” Tsuzuki cried out cheerfully, suddenly looking much younger then he was. “How ‘bout next year I take you with me? I’m sure my sister wouldn’t mind! Then you wouldn’t have to be all alone in the office!” 

This time Hisoka did pull away and curled up on the opposite side of the couch. Why? Why did Tsuzuki have to be so nice? It didn’t make any sense. He had to have heard Hisoka blaming him! Why wasn’t he mad? 

“Hey, Hisoka!” 

“Wha-” was as far as he got before Tsuzuki put something small and oval shaped in his mouth. Hisoka automatically swallowed, nearly choking on the last green M &M. “What the hell did you do that for?!” 

“Well, you didn’t want it to get lonely, did ya? Now it can be with all the other M&Ms!” He saw Hisoka about to protest and hurriedly continued. “Of course they all want to be its friends.” How did the older shinigami know that was what he was going to ask? Hisoka felt his chin being tilted up, until he was looking directly into a pair of amethyst eyes. “Because he’s one of a kind and they all realize how special he is.” 

The boy looked away, unable to say anything for awhile. Eventually, Hisoka decided that he trusted his voice to be steady enough. “They’re M&Ms, stupid. They don’t have feelings.” 

“You’re right.” A moment of silence and Hisoka still couldn’t met the other man’s eyes again. Tsuzuki then startled his partner by jumping up and dragging the kid with him. “So there’s no point in thinking about it! Say, how ‘bout we go get some Pizza! I know a great place that closes at two-” 

Two? Hisoka glanced over at the clock and realized it was twelve-thirty. It was a new day. He dreamily noted the bad one had been over for about thirty minutes, around the time he must have started eating the M&Ms. Tsuzuki fished his jean coat out of the closet; Hisoka only half paying attention to his babbling. “Don’t worry! I’ll make sure we stick to the well lit areas! And if it’s still too dark, I have good night vision so I’ll get us back, easy! See! You feel much better now after eating the chocolate, right? I knew I was right! And Tatsumi always said it was just me-” 

“Tsuzuki?” 

“Yeah?” 

The boy shook his head, long bangs falling into his face. “You’re such an idiot...” 

The older shinigami smiled in response. “You’re welcome, Hisoka.” 

~FIN~

**Author's Note:**

> Quote of the fic:
> 
> "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!"  
> \-- Lucy Van Pelt (from Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)


End file.
